Best Gay Erotica 2008 Read online

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Foreword

  MY BOY TUESDAY

  CAPTURING THE KING

  DONUTS TO DEMONS

  ORANGE

  BREEDING SEASON

  FUNERAL CLOTHES

  FRANK FUDGEPACKER, TEENAGE WHORE

  CONFESSION ANGEL

  MINIMUM DAMAGE, MINIMUM PAIN

  RELEASE

  SHORT SAD SORDID SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS

  SNOWED IN WITH SAM

  RUSHING TIDE OF SANITY

  COME TO LIGHT

  SEX HEAD

  THE BEST SEX BETWEEN THEM

  UNDERGROUND OPERATOR

  ABOUT THE AUTHORS

  ABOUT THE EDITORS

  Copyright Page

  Always for Asa

  FOREWORD

  For all the hundreds and hundreds of erotic short stories published each year, in other collections, in magazines, and online, not a lot of cream—or spunk—rises to the top. One of my favorite science fiction writers, Theodore Sturgeon, is said to have said, crankily, that ninety-nine percent of everything is crap. True enough. Every year, I aim, along with the guest judge, to find that other one percent—to lap up whatever rises to, or spills over, the top.

  Regular readers of Best Gay Erotica will recognize a few familiar names in this year’s edition: Simon Sheppard (absent from just one of the BGEs), Wayne Courtois, Shane Allison, Jeff Mann, Alana Noël Voth, horehound stillpoint, and Andy Quan, all of whom have made one or more appearances over the thirteen years of this series. Some are new to the book, though they’ve been published elsewhere: Taylor Siluwé, Sam J. Miller, Tim Miller, Jason Shults, and Tom Cardamone. Different voices, different styles, different kinks, with quality as the common denominator.

  But it’s a particular pleasure to include first-time writers—new to publication, or at least new to me. There are five such authors this year, more than usual: Lee Houck, mixing sexual memories with the immediacy of an encounter out of control; Arden Hill, writing about the power of cool seduction; Charlie Vazquez, with a story about the rewards of role reversal in sex play; Rhidian Brenig Jones, whose tale explores how good sex is a salve that eases the pain of love gone wrong; and Andrew McCarthy, whose characters exult in the thrill of public sex.

  It’s fitting that there are more novices than usual this year: Emanuel Xavier, who selected the “bests” for 2008, had his own publishing debut in Best Gay Erotica 1997 with the short story “Motherfuckers,” an excerpt from what became the novel Christ-Like. It’s been more than a decade since we met; in that time, he rose to poetry slam prominence, curated a trendsetting reading series at A Different Light Bookstore in New York in the 1990s, founded the glamorous House of Xavier (fusing the excitement of the ballroom scene with the energy of the spoken word movement), published the poetry collections Pier Queen and Americano, and edited the spoken-word collection Bullets & Butterflies. It’s been a treat to spend time with him again, crafting this latest edition of Best Gay Erotica.

  Richard Labonté

  Calabogie, Ontario / Bowen Island, British Columbia

  August 2007

  INTRODUCTION: FINDING MYSELF IN THE NARRATIVE

  Emanuel Xavier

  It’s easy to forget we are a nation at war when sex is everywhere around us—the front pages of newspapers, all over the Internet, used to sell everything from cars to shoes to kitchen appliances. Gay sex is fashionable and mainstream. Even if it’s subtle, all one has to do is pick up a magazine or turn on the television. I would be a hypocrite to claim not to indulge in such pleasures because I would rather focus on the realities of the world. Let’s face it—if every consenting adult could enjoy sex without repercussions, the world would be a better place.

  Previous judges for Best Gay Erotica have often complained how hard it is to choose which erotic short stories make the final cut. I found it’s not really that difficult. Stories forwarded to me from editor Richard Labonté either left me hot and bothered or had me curling into bed with my cats. The submissions I truly enjoyed made me close my eyes and jerk off until I stained them. Lube and cum stains sealed the selection of each finalist found in this collection.

  Yeah, papi, they were that good!

  Bests are good: after all, who wants to get really drunk, shut off the lights and go to bed with an “It’ll do for the night!” collection? Short stories should also hold up to sobriety and proper lighting in the morning. I have always wanted to be a total slut, to receive a diverse selection of erotic short stories, and to be asked to decide which work as both erotica and art. I knew deep inside I would get great submissions demonstrating the talents of creative individuals.

  I must admit this collection should be titled Best Gay Erotica 2008 According to a Latino Former Prostitute Turned Poet. No one can truly claim these are the “best” gay erotic short stories of the year—but they’re certainly the best from among the several hundred submitted to Richard. I know for a fact he suffered through hours and hours of crap that wouldn’t get even a scat fetishist off. So I make no apologies for getting turned on by the stories featured in this collection. I’ll keep it real: as with slam poetry, there is a lot of competition in writing erotica. Submitting your work to any publication is a quiet contest—much like walking around in a towel at a sex club, hoping to get laid by hot guys before your time is up, and so desperate you’re willing to have sex with a troll. But I digress.

  The word best is not quite as problematic as the word erotica. With so much hard-core sex and pornography thrown at us, erotica is a challenging word to define. It’s “works of art, including literature, photography, film, sculpture and painting, which deal substantively with erotically stimulating or arousing descriptions.” Or it’s “a modern word used to describe the portrayal of the human anatomy and sexuality with high-art aspirations, differentiating such work from commercial pornography.” However, artists are forever pushing boundaries in their attempts to be provocative; at another extreme, “erotica” has been violently abused, left behind in some cheap hotel with a used condom sticking out of its ass. I’m happy to say that, while there are condoms in some of the stories here, there’s also a lot of art.

  After Richard sifted through the submitted works of art, I received a stack of his favorites, with the author’s names deleted. It was truly awesome to discover, after the fact, that I was not familiar with more than half of the finalists. My picks had nothing to do with the writers’ reputations within the genre: I based my choices on the quality of the anonymous writing… and weighed the impact of the stories against my own active and healthy sex life. At times, I found myself trying to figure out if I knew the author, had ever had sex with him, or even wanted to collaborate for mutual stimulation. As any narcissistic reader would, I imagined myself one of the characters in each story. But without knowing the authors’ identities until after I had made my selections, I was able to enjoy each submission not because I was physically (or intellectually) attracted to the writer, but because I found myself in each of these narratives.

  As a writer, I read for inspiration, with the hope that emotions I never knew existed will be provoked. The erotica here offers a wide-ranging public glimpse into the private sexual desires of each of the authors—but it’s all consensual, and it’s all inviting. With so much going on in my world, I read mostly for simple pleasure. I got that, and so much more, from this collection.

  My very first publication was a short story titled “Motherfuckers” in Best Gay Erotica 1997 (also featured later in Best of Best Gay Erotica). Even then, I knew to stay away from using certain words, the kind that elicited fits of laughter in the bedroom. For example, “mangina” would get any story tryin
g to date me directions to the nearest exit. As a pet lover and a survivor of sexual abuse, I shunned any stories that involved harming pets or children. Likewise, as a person of color, any stories obsessed with white supremacy were snubbed. On the other hand, the subtle introduction of a condom was a definite plus. Some of the submissions seemed as if their authors were more interested in shocking than actually inviting the reader into their private worlds and arousing anything other than awe. Maybe I’m jaded, but an erotic story should excite the reader with its imagination, besides providing pleasure.

  The tales I ultimately selected widened my eyes with the recognition of real people seeking to unwind from their everyday lives by sexually connecting to others. These were erotic adventures that took me on a thrilling journey, sometimes dropping me off when it was over in the familiar front of my apartment, other times leaving me somewhere out on a strange and exciting open road. The voices featured in Best Gay Erotica 2008 eroticized real experiences and, sometimes playfully, sometimes surprisingly, revealed genuine desire.

  As I read, I wondered how self-aware the writers were about having the reader indulge in their fantasies; I often sensed a smile on their mischievous faces as they challenged our own sexual constraints. Andrew McCarthy’s “Underground Operator,” Wayne Courtois’ “Capturing the King,” and dirty daddy horehound stillpoint’s “Donuts to Demons” are perfect examples of such stories.

  Among these selected short stories, there is both pain and joy. A story by Lee Houck delves deeply into bondage, Simon Sheppard’s dabbles in hustling, Shane Allison’s poetic confessions draw deeply on his memories and Alana Noël Voth’s “Release” is all about longing; there is a Tim Miller performance classic, plenty of twosomes and threesomes, and a piss party as imagined by Charlie Vazquez. More improvised fantasies or off-the-cuff cravings motivate Arden Hill’s “My Boy Tuesday,” Jeff Mann’s “Snowed in with Sam,” Jason Shults’ “Minimum Damage, Minimum Pain,” and the fantasies of the gay couple in Sam J. Miller’s “Short Sad Sordid Sexual Encounters.” Whether the characters featured are simply exploring their passions, as in Taylor Siluwé’s “Breeding Season,” or getting over relationships, as in Rhidian Brenig Jones’ “Come to Light,” it can be said that the root of all good erotica is love. Even the most provocative erotica, if carefully read, reveals the need to connect on a deeper level. Sometimes through these stories we discover things that arouse us about which we may not have been fully aware. Whatever emotional demands a short story such as Tom Cardamone’s “Funeral Clothes” or Andy Quan’s “The Best Sex between Them” places on us, at least we are able to relate to the writers and enjoy the ride. The result is a celebration of the pleasures of gay sex.

  So welcome to a diversity of voices, revel in an exploration of sexuality and a range of desires and indulge yourselves with the anthology—and remember, the authors are not always their characters. Erotica writers are often not what we imagine them to be, which says a lot about all of us on a more intimate level.

  Finally, thanks to Cleis Press for trusting me with this collection, and to Richard, whose first book as editor was the Best Gay Erotica in which I made my debut, for making the selection process so easy. And thanks, of course, to the seventeen writers featured, for providing me (and now all of you) with such splendid pleasure.

  Brooklyn, New York

  August 2007

  MY BOY TUESDAY

  Arden Hill

  He needed a name so I named him Tuesday. Tuesday for the day we met in Professor Alice Adams’ section of Shakespeare’s Women. I was wearing my hair blond and blue then, so of course he noticed me when he walked in the door, though I have no doubt he would have, even if I’d tried to blend in. Blending in is one of the few things I don’t excel at. It is an art I choose not to explore. Tuesday was wearing worn brown pants, both knees reinforced with bright green patches. They said to me, “Hello, I kneel down a lot,” and so I smiled at them before following the slouchy lines of his body up to a subdued green sweater, solid not striped, soft and patchless. He had a sweet face and when I looked down at my watch I noted he was three minutes late for class. I fantasized about punishing him for this, slapping him hard. And when he became hard enough, I would tie his right hand to his ankles and tell him to make himself come for me with his left one. I would reward him for this act.

  When Tuesday came to class that first day, he tucked his backpack quietly under the chair in front of him, a chair only feet away from mine, so I could see the small pink triangle he’d pinned to the bag’s zipper, and the red ribbon that was tied around the zipper. I remember licking my lips and smiling. It’s always easier when they know they’re gay. I’ve spent too many semesters with football players sucking my cock, their massive shoulder muscles heaving as they weep salt tears over my come and their spit. When they can breathe again they always say the same thing. “Tristan, man, I think I might be gay. I really liked that. I really liked sucking you off.” If I’m not in a bad mood I tell them it was okay, but if I’m pissy, and I mean pissy about anything that happened that day—lousy parking, a dull class, a cold cup of coffee—I tell them, “Well you might be gay now, you big faggot, but that blow job just turned me straight.” Those big boys don’t wear my collar. They call me by my name. I don’t officially top them but it’s always there to some degree, and it was there even in the beginning when I was the one down on the floor. When I’m mean to lovers that aren’t bottoms they leave and don’t come back. Fine. If I’m mean to Tuesday, he might cry a little but I’m sure he’d roll over and stick his ass up in the air for me to cane, or fuck, or just stare at until he wiggles and moans and I decide to be nice.

  I can relate to boys like Tuesday, or rather I can remember what it was like to assume that position. I was nineteen. My lover was twenty-six. “Hey boy,” he said, “I want to teach you something.” He pushed my arms out past my head and jerked back on my ankles until they were next to his knees. The lube was cold when he stuck his finger into my ass but by the time he worked his dick in it was warm, almost burning. “Oh you like that you little slut,” he said and he reached for his belt, the one I’d taken off with my teeth earlier in the evening. He hit me twenty-five times across each shoulder. I imagined his hand holding the belt. No. I imagined my hand on the leather. When he had me count out loud I heard the numbers as though it were his voice speaking and I smiled between each word. He told me thank him and I did, though he had no idea what I was thanking him for.

  The next night he learned what I’d gathered from his lesson. He said I could tie him up if I wanted. I did, and I did it with the cuffs and joiners he’d used on me earlier. I whipped him lightly and he moaned, his mouth falling open with each flick of leather across his skin. I tightened the restraints and he looked up at me with surprise but delight. I put on a glove and pushed two fingers into him. His dick rose up. I could almost hear it humming. “Oh you like that you little slut,” I growled. He gave me a cocky sort of smile before I shoved the gag in his mouth. I put in more fingers and he rocked on my hand. “Now that you’re in a position to listen,” I said, “our relationship is going to be different and if you’re not up for that difference our relationship is going to be over.” I undid the gag so he could whisper, “Yes Sir.”

  I put the gag back in and told him that I’d been thinking about what I did and did not like in bed. I told him he was not going to be allowed to touch my cock. Well, not with his hands at least. Before this moment I endured the feel of my silk underpants shifting to sandpaper as clumsy hands rubbed me through denim. Once my pants were off, too many lovers groped me, tugging and pulling until I was hard but hurting. I put up with it because I liked what happened next, when they thought they had warmed me up enough to lick my dick lightly with the tips of their tongues. I like to be taken on the tongue like a thick wafer, one that does not dissolve but still induces someone to murmur Jesus. I like to spill down a throat. I slipped out the gag and thrust into him, showing him. He swallowed and when I pulled
out he thanked me. I realized then other things I liked: downcast eyes, the strands of hair that fall across the forehead after someone has exerted himself.

  Tuesday had run down the hallway in an attempt to make it to class on time. His black bangs were wet. There was a damp curl twisting down the collar of his shirt. I watched him and took notes on Shakespeare’s women and my own soon-to-be boy both. I could imagine him on his knees while I, dressed in a gown, lifted up layer after layer of fabric until there was nothing between my cock and his mouth but silk. I would bind his hands first. I would write what I liked on notes that I would not let him read until class. I would have him sit in a different spot, to my left and ahead just a bit so I could watch him read but it would still be clear we were not equals, not in the bedroom, not in any room.

  The professor asked a question and Tuesday’s slim hand shot up. Eager, I remarked to myself, and when Tuesday spoke I liked the tones of his answer. His voice cracked a little on the name Titania, and I knew I wanted him to wear glitter and answer my questions, ending each sentence with a slight and cracking “Sir.” The professor looked pleased, which indicated to me that Tuesday is a good reader. I am a good writer. I know this is going to work out. He shifted in his chair a bit and turned around as though my gaze had weight. He looked at me then looked down. He knew from the beginning where this was going. Tuesday was a very bright boy.

  After class Tuesday wandered over to my desk. Although articulate with literature, he seemed shy about practical matters, so I told him to come over to my apartment on Wednesday. I took his hand and wrote my address on the back of it. I did not ask for his address. We did not exchange names or numbers. I was certain he’d show up and if he didn’t, well I knew where to find him, and I’ve noticed other boys in this class who I could entice over, boys whose bruises would make Tuesday sorry he did not accept what I offered. I am not stingy, but careful, with my kindnesses.